Off to K-Town!

Friday we're back on the rails to Kaiserslautern, home to the USA's second match against the Italians. Now that the 3-0 loss to the Czechs has set in, I would love nothing more than for us to shove it up the Italians (expletive) (explitive). I believe it can still happen — quit your job and spend time, money and effort coming over to Europe for a month and your definition of "delusional" changes — but it will obviously be difficult. Question 1 and 1A is how the Americans can break down an Italian defense that is the reason why people hate soccer (ie They're good and boring...and they fix matches, their fans can be racist and their players are women. God, I hate Italy. Be loud, be proud, Doyle).

Obviously it appears Eddie Johnson will get the start and Landon Donovan will be moved back to midfield, which brings up the point that bearded Landon Donovan is a far superior player than Landon with no beard. Landon was clean-shaven on Monday and touched the ball maybe four times, so in hope that he turns it around and shows up the last two games, I've vowed not to shave. I'm a little concerned about him. There really isn't much to dislike about Germany. The food is very underrated, the beer is fantastic, the quality of life is great and he was undoubtedly making a cushy living — and they get 30 days of vacation and 15 national or regional holidays, paid! — he's bailed twice here before and I'll be damned if he makes it three.

The first batch of games is in the books, and it should be no surprise that the best team in the first games was Spain. Actually, that should be a complete surprise, as the Spanish always frustrate at big events. I guess this is reasonable — you'd find it hard to really give it all when half of your country is bombing the other half — but Wednesday Spain laid the wood to Ukraine and was by far the most enjoyable team to watch. On the flipside, my tournament dark-horse Sweden finally decided to score and knock Paraguay out of the Cup with one match to play. Unfortunately this will make it difficult for Trinidad and Tobago to advance out of the group, leaving CONCACAF with just Mexico to fly the flag, unless the Americans pull off a miracle.

Anyway, tomorrow Joe's brother Rick gets in — already, he's served as a lightning rod for Mitch Hedberg jokes ("I wish I hadn't seen RICKY, on the SIDEWALK!" etc) before setting foot on the continent — and we're making sure he dives in head-first. We head to Mannheim, a town 45 minutes east of Kaiserslautern and where we are staying Friday night, and then Kaiserslautern for the Yanks Abroad Red, White & Brew supporter's bash. At 15 euros for all you can drink and eat, I recommend flying over here ASAP to take advantage. We realized that Saturday's game is at 9pm and there's no sense in getting a hotel, so we're taking a late night train back to Munich after the game and getting back Sunday morning. If Rick can't sleep by then, there's really nothing else we can do.