One more time

These guys are World Champions. Eww.

Judging by my traffic statistics, quite a few of you want to see Italy's soccer players pose in their underwear for Dolce & Gabbana, so there you go. But remember — the USA was the only team to tie the World Champs! That's right, a very underrated group of Americans gave Italians their biggest sweat (Germany, Australia and France excluded)!

So I've found some silver lining in Connor's finest hour. Not everyone can move to a country and it immediately wins the World Cup, probably meaning Connor is throwing around terms like "we" and "I can't believe we did it!" while he bones up for a season of Serie A and its fascist cheers and banana-throwing.

Speaking of Serie A, there's another silver lining in Italy's win: as punishment for their parts in a match-fixing scandal, several big clubs, such as Juventus and AC Milan, will likely be dropped down a division or two immediately, meaning we will have a few seasons free of boring, defensive and flare-ridden Champions League on ESPN (provided they show somebody other than Real Madrid). Except the flares and fireworks. I'll miss those.

Anyway, returning to the USA for the final three (four if you count the third-place game, and I don't) games was both a mistake and perfectly acceptable. I didn't have to wait very long in the day for the games to start, the American media is still talking about the World Cup (although it was probably filler for last night's WNBA All-Star Game....this one's for the girls!) and I found my family and friends pretty well-versed on what was going on in Germany. My dad called Lukas Podolski a "gunner" and blamed him for Germany's semifinal defeat (no doubt Joe was smiling in Munich), and my sister called Luca Toni "floppy" and "rigatoni" because he fell down so much. We even sat down for a few episodes of World Cup Live! and the Drew Carey show, which featured the same ugly ball he bought when I met him.

It was also a mistake because I had to watch Germany-Italy from outside a Portuguese restaurant in the Newark airport. Then the match went to extra-time, and I had to board my flight, only to wait out a passing storm for an hour on the tarmac. Ignoring the FAA's request, I answered my phone to find out, live from my brother-in-law Chris, that Italy had scored once, and then twice. Then I believe I caught something which has kept me somewhat sick to this day on the flight over, and then was diverted to Phoenix and finally arrived in Tucson four hours late and 31.5 hours after I started. I blame Italy.

I would have never guessed, but I actually find myself loving the German team. With a few minor adjustments, they've also become my team of choice in the World Cup video game, and now that Jurgen Klinsmann has officially stepped down, I've officially stepped up my campaign to get him over to coach that, as previously mentioned, very underrated and dangerous US team. He didn't take many wrong steps during the Cup, and this was a guy who was absolutely untrusted as coach of the hosts of the World Cup. Now he is the man of the moment, mainly because he's taken an average (yes, average was the term that described the Germans in early June) team full of youngsters and taken them further than anyone realistically thought. And he did it with many American methods, which irked nearly every German in the process. And he played attacking soccer, which was a rarity in this Cup. I don't see any reason why he cannot take the US job: he lives in SoCal, is relatively anonymous here but him signing would still be pretty big news, he has a distinguished playing career that nobody in the US can match, he's energetic and could also fit into Bruce Arena's pants twice and there isn't a single American candidate I would hire in a million years for the job.

I certainly wouldn't hire France's coach/noted astrologist/guy who should be ordered to wear a beret on the sidelines, Raymond Domenech. It was disappointing to see Italy win the Cup, but the French coach finally surrendered victory and the other side accepted. In their semifinal and quarterfinal games, Domenech mysteriously always substituted Thierry Henry and Frank Ribery (Scarface) in the final minutes with a 1-0 lead .... for other attackers, not defenders. These moves never backfired (although Ribery's family was, allegedly, caught on French TV making obscene gestures at the coach as the player was coming off) because France won, but it was a bizarre strategy that didn't solidify the defense for the last few minutes and, had Brazil or Portugal scored, would have left them missing in extra time.

But it did backfire against the Italians. The Italians, for most, if not all, of the 120 minutes, were dead and hanging on the ropes. France outplayed them the entire game and let the Italians off the hook repeatedly for not pressing off and forcing the winning goal. Sure, Zidane should have buried that header and the whole "son of a terrorist whore" thing wouldn't have happened (probably), but taking off Henry — who's becoming the Peyton Manning of soccer, by the way — and Ribery and not going for the throat cost the Frenchies dearly. (I love soccer, by the way. It's the one sport where I truly believe I could do Sven Goran Eriksson's or Domenech's job and be more successful .... how do these guys get jobs?)

As for the Zidane's headbutt, it's completely indefensible, no matter what was said. It didn't necessarily cost the French the game (useless Trezeguet would have still missed his PK and even more useless Fabien Barthez still wouldn't have come close to saving one), but it certainly won the game for Italy. With no Zidane, Henry or Ribery for the last 10-12 minutes, they knew the French wouldn't be able to muster up much and the game would go to PKs, where the Italians had the better keeper and the psychological advantage. It must be nice to play so poorly and win a World Cup.

Last day

So after almost exactly a month, it's my final day in Munich before celebrating America's birthday by making it as long as humanly possible with tomorrow's long travel day.

To put it simply, my train from Munich to Frankfurt leaves at 5:27am (that's 8:27pm Tucson time) and my final leg touches down in Tucson at 9:20pm. Hope that iPod battery reaches a whole new level!

Of course, I'll be missing the Germany-Italy semifinal tomorrow, but will at least be able to catch some of it hopefully in Newark. It's just as well; Italy will probably win anyway, knowing my luck.

Sunday was a solid day. We drove out to Kathi's mom's and had a good old fashioned bbq, German-style. I felt like Anthony Bourdain from the Travel Channel, taking in the backyard atmosphere and conversation and, of course, the food. "And isn't this what it's all about? Good friends, good times, good food....transceding!" I'm surprised I haven't turned into a bratwurst, let alone haven't appeared to have gained any weight thanks to them and delicious weissbiers. That said, it will no doubt be fun to work out again every day instead of the lazy, ease into the day and do what we please. Game at 3? Let's go have a beer and watch it!

My family still doesn't believe I'll get on that plane tomorrow, so I'll ease their fears: I will be there, with gifts in tow! I love Germany and especially Munich, and the World Cup is positively absolutely phenomenal, but a month is a long time to be on vacation. Heck, I need a vacation to recover from this one. Preferably where there's a television set to watch Sunday's final.

Will miss: U-Bahns/S-Bahns/Inter-City Expresses, bread, beer, brats, the fact that soccer is not only accepted, but everybody's crazy about it, doner kebab (I could devote an entire post to this), beer gardens, spezzie (a combination of orange drink and coke...yummy) and much, much more.

Won't miss: Walking so much, European concept of waiting in line, B.O., lack of air conditioning (although the last week has been downright pleasant), "it's not possible" and much, much more.

All in all, agreat time. Now I have to spend today cleaning out the World Cup stores. This is your last chance to get a German/Brazilian/etc mohawk hat, so speak now!

Nice efforts, Brazil and England

I can't even begin to imagine how badly the brazilian team will get slaughtered in the media after their awful 1-0 loss to France. I just hope one writer out there writes the "DON'T HIRE CARLOS ALBERTO PERREIRA TO BE THE NEXT USA COACH" and somebody at US Soccer reads it and takes their advice. Absolutely terible. The greatest attacking talent we've possibly ever seen musters up zero offense against the aging, everybody-hates-each-other French, and what's worse, the Brazilians looked and acted like it was a meaningless friendly.

As for England, they didn't disappoint me. Before the game, Kathi's boyfriend Flo asked me who I favo(u)red. I told him, "Well, I want England to win....but they usually lose in the best way possible and I can't take my eye of it, so I wouldn't mind that eithyer." Of course, this England game (or most England games) would have been better watched in a condensed highlights package instead of sitting through 120 minutes before the inevitable penalties. The highlight was easily Wayne Rooney getting a red card for stamping on a Portugal guy's genitals (giving Portugal a one-time only free pass out of the overreaction to a foul jail). At first, I thought it was for his harmless shove on Man U teammate (and alleged not close friend) Cristiano Ronaldo, who has a good career carved out as England's villain for the next few years at least. But the replays exhaustively showed Rooney's stomp over and over to the point where the only man you'd wish that on was Rooney himself (and maybe any Italian player).

The penalties were gripping, and it was predictable that England would lose. I figured it was because they had the worse goalie, Paul Robinson, who tried to take flapping for the ball to a new level (note to any European club looking for a goalkeeper: why not look at Americans more? We can actually catch as a people) and reinstilled the point that English goalkeepers are generally in a poor state. But it was the poor penalties taken by Lampard and Gerrard. Neither team really wanted to win, but England showed their heart and wanted to lose just a little bit more. Cristiano Ronaldo (who's Ronaldo name is great because his dad admired Ronald Reagan and named him after the former president) sealed the deal and accepted a sentence of years of hatred from English fans. On a side note, David Beckham wants to come to MLS in 3-4 years. Great, I'm really looking forward to that day. That'll be wonderful for the league's product on the field.

The game was fun to watch at Fan Fest in Munich. It'll be the last one I'll be able to see there, but I have a lot of great memories: the awful Mastercard cheerleaders that perform at halftime of each game, the video of Pele saying "Munich, you are great!" and the wonderful selection of all kinds of food and beer available, not to mention fans of so many different teams. Which I should add, I'm disappointed in myself not for going back there after Brazil-France and laughing at all the German fans wearing Brazilian flags and with their faces painted. Ahh, four more years.